rotten bananas

Bert and I were discussing the iPhone announcement today. In an uninterested tone he expressed his excitement about proprietary cables and file formats. While Bert’s obligatory Apple bashing is to be expected and certainly was not intended to encourage any thought, his attempts to pointlessly piss me off went unrewarded this time. After some deep contemplation (staring blankly at the bright pixels in front of me), I determined that the iPhone absolutely has to have proprietary features, or iAnnoyances.

Apple became popular because it was different. It was a way for the kids that were too cool to be seen with the cool crowd to show how cool they really were. While everyone else was using Windows, they were fighting the man by using a dock instead of a conformist taskbar. That’s how Apple got its real start in the mainstream world, by being different, being the alternative. This same theory was applied to the iPod, which was so awesomely different that it’s become the obvious choice. A statement that warps the mind if you think too hard about it.

The iPhone will have proprietary features for the same reason that the iPod does (though it may be the same as the iPod to encourage brand concurrency), they are way too cool to use the same lame mini-usb cable that my Cingular phone uses. Apple has to encourage this image because it’s what makes the company tick. They’ve even personified the image themselves by introducing the annoyingly cool Mac fella with his laid back attitude and his boyishly good looks.

As transparent their advertising campaign and the propriety of those silly cables, it’s all working to carry Apple up the ladder as others strive to gain a semblance of recognition, let alone coolness. It’s a fascinating marketing case and Apple has done like only a handful of companies before it.